waltzmatildah | fic: blood dries up, like rain, like rain... (Cristina and Alex)

Entry tags:

fic: blood dries up, like rain, like rain... (Cristina and Alex)

Title: Blood dries up, like rain, like rain...
Characters/Pairing: Cristina with an inanimate Alex guest starring...
Word Count: 1000
Rating PG
Spoilers: Season Six Finale
Summary: For

step86 's prompt 'sparkle pager' over at the Grey's Drabble-A-Thon currently being hosted by

abvj.
Author's Note: Title from the Crowded House classic, 'Four Seasons In One Day'.

Teddy shows her the scans without mentioning who they belong to, assumes incorrectly that she already knows.

He should be dead, Cristina.

There's something in the tone of her voice. Incredulous awe. Horrified wonder.

Fear. Charcoal grey.

He coded twice in the bus on the way here, Cristina.

She's blinking absently. Watching Teddy's lips move. Trying, mostly failing, to put the words together. She's seen Derek's scans, more than that, she's seen inside his chest. These are not Derek's scans.

Cristina, he should be dead...

And when it all falls into place her world goes white. Teddy is still speaking, the sound of her voice blurring in and out. Out and in. When she blinks her eyes closed she can hear, when she opens them again the warbled sounds of speaking dissolve into the floor at her feet.

She turns then. Cuts Teddy off with a harried 'where?' Doesn't wait around long enough to hear the answer.

An unfamiliar panic descends. Takes up residence low and fiery in her gut. Indecipherably uncomfortable and raw.

- - -

She pauses in his doorway. Takes in the empty chairs that flank his bed. Chairs that wait for family she knows without asking will never come.

And he wouldn't want for them to, that she also knows.

He's intubated, she can't quite bring herself to look. Makes her way to where his chart has been stashed and flips it open instead, loses herself in a welcome reprieve of numbers and acronyms.

She reads it three times. Start to finish.

Then she reads it once more.

He spiked a low grade fever an hour ago. Coded twice in the bus on the way here, that sounds vaguely familiar, coded again once in surgery.

That information is new.

Lost more blood than it should be possible for a single person to leak out.

Teddy's right.

He should be dead.

She replaces the chart, knows she'll reach for it again before the current minute counts to sixty. Sends a silent order to whomever, whatever, it is that controls these things for the information contained in the crisp, white pages to be different the next time she checks.

To be not quite so dire.

She sinks into one of the perpetually empty chairs. Tells herself it's what Meredith would want her to do, if she knew, which...

Oh, God...

But her best friend has her own wounds to lick for now, and a post-it husband with a hole in his chest. So she sits and tells herself it's what Meredith would want.

Because it's easier that way.

- - -

His left hand is in her line of sight. The only part of him that she doesn't have to shift her eyes to see. There's blood under his fingernails.

His own blood, she guesses.

She hopes someone, a nurse, anyone, not her, thinks to clean it away before he wakes up.

If he wakes up.

She's a surgeon after all. And she's seen his scans. Read his chart.

He should be dead, Cristina...

If he wakes up.

She contemplates calling Izzie. Knows before the thought is complete that she won't. It'll be on the news. The shooting. It'll be front page headlines and running commentary on her television screen. She'll call if she still cares. And Cristina will tell her not to come.

But she knows this is a lie. Because there is an empty chair opposite her that says he's going to need all the help he can get and if Izzie does call, she'll tell her to drive all night just to fill it.

- - -

His fingers flinch. The bloodstained nails that she can't bring herself to look away from. He's not awake, not even close, but his fingers flinch and she's reached for them before she can fully comprehend what it means.

And by the time they're wrapped in hers, letting go is no longer an option.

She doesn't understand this version of herself. Can't quite fathom the parts of her that have come alive, the parts of her that have shattered into a million tiny shards, the parts of her that have shriveled, died. It's only been nine hours since her pager beeped a message she didn't believe, and she was going to be a godmother then, and things with Owen were ending with a pathetic whimper and now, it's nine hours later, and she doesn't even recognise the sound of her own voice in her head.

An unfamiliar monologue.

She turns his wrist, flips his hand to palm up and runs her fingers over his creased skin.

She'd search out his life line if she believed in these things.

- - -

She's not one for mindless chatter. Especially not when the other person is hooked to a vent. Especially not when the other person was three minutes away from exsanguination. Especially not when the other person is Alex.

But he's conveniently mute and the chair opposite her is still echoingly vacant and she thinks she'll take this time to give him a piece of her mind.

And really? It's about time.

Ask her later and she might admit that she threatened to kick his ass. For getting shot. For almost dying on them. For growing on her to such a degree that she actually cares about those things.

Ask her later and she might let it slip that she gave him permission to choose paeds, because someone has to operate on the little people and it sure as hell isn't going to be her, and he's an overgrown child anyway, so who better to relate?

Ask her later and she may even throw in that, in a fit of painful generosity she almost, almost, instantly regretted, she promised him the sparkle pager, gifted to her out of pity all those months and years ago. But he has to wake up first. He has to wake up now.

He has to wake up, please.

Ask her later and she'll deny it all 'til she's blue in the face.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I so love this!
Actually I have cried a little!

Haha... well, that's good... I think!!

So glad that you loved this.

Hi, I'm a complete newbie to GA fanfic, never having bothered to look for any back when I used to watch the show, but the S6 finale kinda dragged me back into it after 2 seasons of not watching any more, and by a roundabout browsing route I found myself here and just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying your Alex-focused coda fics. Thanks!

Welcome newbie! I am very glad your browsing bought you here... and if it's Alex fic you're after, you've come to the right place because I have CRAP loads of it!

Thank you!!

Aye, your journal does appear to be a mecca for anyone who always tended to favour Alex. :) This story in particular is beautifully written. The friendships on the show are such a strength and it's a pity the writers don't make more of them - even with my spotty knowledge of the last couple of seasons, I can trace how far the characters have come since we first met them. But where scriptwriters leave holes, fanfic writers move to plug 'em, right? So, thanks again for a good read. :)

But where scriptwriters leave holes, fanfic writers move to plug 'em, right? We do our best!

Thanks so much for commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed this. I agree with you regarding the friendships, particularly between the original five interns. That 'relationship' will always be my favourite...

Ask her later and she might admit that she threatened to kick his ass. For getting shot. For almost dying on them. For growing on her to such a degree that she actually cares about those things.

I love this. Cristina is about the last person I'd expect at Alex's bedside but it works so well and makes so much sense the way you write it.

Thank you. I agree with you re. Cris being the last person to take up a vigil for him, so I was really conscious of selling it with even a modicum of realism.

I'm so glad that you think it works...

Aw!!! I love it!! No other words!! *thud*

Thank you!!

*picks your heavy ass up*

NOW WRITE DAMNIT!

Heavy?! HEY!

*grumbles* You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself. =P This rate, you'll get Alex with an eating disorder instead of a bullet hole.

Hahaha! Don't pretend like you haven't thought about doing THAT to him a gazillion times in the past!

Remember, I know how your Alex!brain works!

(and I was only joking... you knew what I meant!! ♥)

Haha. I did attempt to give him an eating disorder once...and actually did manage to give him a past with one in another fic. Yeah, I am going to a very special hell. Wanna join me? It's fun to give Alex issues with food.

Which really, could be totally believable since we know his mom used to forget to buy food. Could say that he would give his to his siblings and forgot about himself a lot. *pushes ideas towards you*

SEE???! Haha. And yeah, I think I remember those fics. Might have to go check them out again...

Also? Ideas? Oh, man! I have ideas GALORE!! I really don't need any more. Not yet anyway.

Well, he only ended up with a past with one in one fic. I never even finished the first chapter of the one where he actually had it.

*whimpers*

I think I chose not to think about the massive blood loss and possibility of coding sometime during surgery or in the ambulance. Damn if it doesn't make sense.

I love how, at first, she's just there because it would be what Meredith would want her to do. Except it's not just that. These guys have all been through so much together and they grew on each other. Which is what makes that last section killer. It's so perfect.

Amazing fic!

Well, you know... thought I'd just take the knife (or bullet but, whatever!) and twist it just that little bit futher. As is my tendency it would seem.

I'm so glad you liked this. I was really conscious of making her staying with him seem realistic.

I actually have a second part to this fic eating what's left of my brain... Would you be interested or do you think I should just leave it alone... don't try and make something out of nothing (because this? The bit that's eating my brain? It's decidedly Alex/Cristina... though I guess it doesn't have to be)

I AM VERY VERY INTERESTED YES PLEASE.

Um, what? Did you think I was going to say no?

Amazing! I've only recently discovered the world of live journal fanfiction (having devoted all of my attention to fanfiction.net), and I am so glad I did. Your stories are incredible, and you capture the aftermath of the finale brilliantly.
You portrayed Alex and Christina's relationship perfectly in this fic. It's obvious they really care about each other as friends, but both would cut out their own tongues before they'd admit it. This was great!

Live journal is a virtual mecca of freakin' awesome fic, you are so lucky to have just discovered it. Be prepared to waste crap loads of time here!

If you'd like some recs let me know... otherwise... HAVE FUN IN OUR PLAYGROUND!

but both would cut out their own tongues before they'd admit it. That's the best thing you could have said in this review because... seriously? That's exactly the vibe I wanted.

Thank you for visiting.

Please come again!

This is amazing as always. I adore Alex and Cristina and their friendship and I love your take on it, so perfectly Cristina.

Thank you! I love their friendship, too.

Loved this. It was so perfectly Cristina, especially the Sparkle Pager, which would be the most enormous sacrafice I could imagine for her, LOL. This nails her thought process, too - about telling Meredith, and Izzie, about how she'd deal with Teddy. I just loved every line of this. Thank you.

Yeah, that's exactly what I was trying to portray. The sparkle pager is very symbolic, she's pretty freakin' desperate to be offering it up as a sacrifice.

Poor Cristina and those funny things called 'feelings'! Thank you and I'm so pleased that you liked this.

And when it all falls into place her world goes white. Teddy is still speaking, the sound of her voice blurring in and out. Out and in
god. you write like woah. your lines are just amazing. i've always found Christina so hard to write, but you humanize her, make her real, and hurting.

She hopes someone, a nurse, anyone, not her, thinks to clean it away before he wakes up.
I love this line. Mostly because it's so still very Christina, but she's been a little cracked, but she's still her. She isn't going to clean up Evil Spawn, but she wants someone too, because as you so wonderfully put it he had " grow[n] on her to such a degree that she actually cares about those things."

loved it.
more please!

Thank you so much. Especially for the Cristina comments, because I don't write her very often and I'm rarely confident when I do.

And yeah... there's no way she's giving Evil Spawn a sponge bath but... someone has to wash the freakin' blood away...

There is a second part to this fic that is eating my brain. It's decidedly Alex/Cristina but it doesn't HAVE to be. Would you be interested in it? Should it remain a friendship fic? Or should I kick it over into relationship territory? Or does it end right here? I'm torn!

Would I be interested in it? Does the sun shine. Like you have to ask.
but I feel like it should stay friendship because it's Alex; and right now he's so confused, trying to be a duck because he can't be a husband, and I don't think he could be anything good for anyone at this point. Not for lexie, or for Christina. But he needs his friends: he needs Mer to clean him up and mother him, and he needs Christina to be that sister that never goes away, ever. Like srsly, ever. and she steals his pudding.
but the snark. oh the snark those two would have

That settles it then...!

wait...you're gonna write it right?

the "...!" confused me. sigh. this is what happens when you don't get enough sleep. punctuation goes over your head.

Totally ignore my ambiguous punctuation! I'm gonna write it!!!

I love this!I always loved Alex and Cristina's friendship.
This sad but also very beautiful.

Thank you so much!

This is my favorite post-season finale fic so far! It's Cristina and Alex! They are the most complicated pair to write about, because they're friends, they are close, but they don't share, they don't do feelings, not with each other, and Cristina struggling with hers after finding out about what happened with Alex was beautiful portrayed!

I loved how she thought about Izzie and at first she would tell her not to come, because they don't need more of that drama, but then she understood Alex needed all the help he could get. I loved that she understood easily enough he wouldn't want his family with him (I can totally see Lexie making the mistake of calling them, though... it would be fun to have Aaron back and Amber not far behind!).

I loved how Cristina realized Mer didn't know, and she thought staying is what Mer would want (even if it was just an excuse for her to stay). I even love the idea of Alex maybe not waking up, mostly because I'm a sucker for that kind of angst when involves my favorite characters :P

I loved this fic, very much so! You definitely made this week of not having grey's episodes very fun!

Thank you for the awesome review! I love LOVE how you've mentioned all the key things that I was trying to get across. Makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I did get my message across effectively! It was a risk making Cristina the one to sit by his bedside, and I was really conscious of making it realistic.

I'm still not entirely sure how I'm going to last until September!!! (Though I can guarantee that there will be crap loads more fic...)

I'm so glad I got it, then! :D

Cristina was the hardest choice you could think of to put at his bedside, but you made it work! And while I like Alex with both Lexie and Mer (and Addison, back in the day), he has great (if rarely seen) chemistry with Cristina that we barely get in fics, because it's just so hard to write correctly! I'm glad you tried it and I'm glad it worked! (and I'm very glad what I've read in another comment about a second part to this...? *.*)

I agree re. your comment on the chemistry between Alex and Cristina. When they're alone and not faced with a need for bravado and sarcasm there is a real 'quiet' to their friendship that was really evident in the 'I miss Burke' 'I miss Rebecca' scene with the coins... LOVE the understated simplicity to that scene.

And yeah, a second part is brewing!

Seriously amazing!

THANK YOU!!!

This is sad, but a beautiful kind of happy-sad. Thank you.

No worries at all!

Thank YOU for reading! And reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

*sniffles*

This was amazing.

Hehe! Sniffles! Yay.

Thank you so much!!!

Oh god this... I want to quote all the lines I love but I think I would end up quoting half of this back at you. I love Cristina a lot and I can definitely see her doing this. Thank you.

Thank you! I love Cristina a lot too.... though... no. Actually what I was about to say is kinda spoilery so I'll stop just in case!!

Oh no. Now you've inspired me to look up spoilers. I need warning if I'm not going to like where the writers take her.

Well, I guess it depends on what you want for her and where your priorities lie...

Personally, what I'm hearing is enough to make me not want to watch the show. But I have pretty strong opinions on some of the storylines she's been involved in and some of the storylines it's reported she's going to be involved in...

You might LIKE the spoilers!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

fic: blood dries up, like rain, like rain... (Cristina and Alex)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject